Imagine if you will...

I, a ninja standing in the middle of a field of bright green grass, am dressed in black and carry with me 2 traditional ninja swords across my back, a pair of sais by my hips, and of course... ninja throwing stars on my belt. I'm dressed for battle and await my arch enemy "The Burger King", where we'll battle for the privilege to rule over the Burger Kingdom.

As I stand there, tall and calm, I began to remember how it was that I arrived here at this point in time.

[FLASHBACK] There I was, dressed similar to what I am today; flipping burgers over at the neighborhood Burger King. That day I wanted to pay tribute to all the ninja's who have passed on to wherever dead ninjas go. I was at work and therefore could not do so as we ninja's normally do... pour out a 40oz bottle King Cobra beer while sitting on the front porch of our super-secret ninja hide-out. Instead, I decided to take my sai and slice each burger into the shape of a ninja star. That day... all customers would have "ninja star" burgers. That was until the King had something to say about it.

Furious, The King had fired me. He claimed that he would never allow the ways of the ninja to interfere with his business. That day I had vowed my revenge.[END FLASHBACK]

Now standing 30 feet before me was the "King of Kings" the infamous... Burger King. He stood there with his big, evil grin. Anyone who knew The King, knows of the big, evil grin I speak of.

We stood their silently and still, gazing over at each other as if we were trying to bully the other away with our eyes. Finally I spoke, "Are you ready to do this?" The King nodded and immediately began walking towards me. I too began walking until we were within arms reach. We both stopped simultaneously and held out our fists.

Staring deep into each others eyes as if we were trying to see through each other, the King and I started to count. 1... 2... 3...

The King flashed Rock. I flashed scissors.

Damn it. I knew better than to start off with scissors. I'd trained for weeks with the squad and especially Ninja JiveTalker who had explained to me that an opponent as agile as the King would almost always throw Rock, and he did. I'd spent hours practicing the counter to the infamous Rock maneuver... it was paper. Why didn't I throw paper? Lucky for me this was a 2 out of 3 battle.

We resumed. 1... 2... 3...

The King flashed Rock again. Instinctively I flashed Paper.

The King stood in shock as he realized what had happened. I had pulled out the stopper and won the round. My ninja senses told me that he would again try to pull off the Rock maneuver and they were right. I felt my confidence rising.

Now came the third and final round. I thought to myself... could I pull of my special ninja attack. Could I actually do it.

[FLASHBACK] Ninja JiveTalker was yelling, "How do you expect to beat the King with a move like that." We stood together in the dungeon practicing for the battle with King. "Listen" JiveTalker said. "You must relax your wrist if you're ever going to pull of this ancient ninja attack. Concentrate!" [END FLASHBACK]

We began again for what would be the last time. The winner would ultimately rule the Burger Kingdom.

1... We counted. I stood calm.

2... I could see him trying to predict my next move in his head. I could see how frustrated he was getting as a sweat drop began to drip from his brow. My wrist remained relaxed and flimsy as if it were chewed bubble gum.

3... The King quickly and arrogantly laid out his Rock as if he knew he'd already won. My mind raced. No way did he just pull out Rock for the third straight time in a row. I was amazed. I had never ever before seen a strategy as what the King had prepared, and my instincts told me that no other ninja had either. The King was definitely a worthy opponent.

Lucky for me, I was already in mid-production of what would be forever known as the greatest maneuver of all time... the Floppy Hand. That's right. My hand was flopping right there in front of the King's face. Up and down and up again my hand flopped around. "Clap... Clap... Clap." I had done it. I had pulled it off.

The King stood there stunned. He knew, I knew, and everyone in the world knew that neither Paper, Rock, and nor Sscissor could ever stand toe-to-toe with a floppy hand. At last the battle was over, and I had won. The King extended his hand and congratulated me, and with great disappointment in his face, he walked away.

The ninjas were happy that I had been victorious. They were so pleased that they had appointed me high within the ranks of the Ninja Death Squad. From that point forward I would forever be known as Ninja Floppy Hand.

I later made the decision to step down as the ruler of the Burger Kingdom and promoted a young strapping individual named Ron McDonald to take my position. Ron was not a ninja by any means, but he had a "clowning" personality, which eventually won me over. No mater what I had said to Ron, his response was always "I'm Lovin It". I thought to myself... what an interesting character. I knew that the Burger Kingdom would be safe in Ron McDonald's hands.

Years had passed since that day and I never saw the King again. As I stare out the window of our super-secret ninja hide-out, I often find myself day-dreaming about The King and what had taken place long ago on that grassy field. Oh well. Wherever he is, whatever he's doing... I was confident that The King was doing well.